We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
