ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
