what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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