So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
