In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
