he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can I color on your dick again?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
