...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
