Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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