he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
