I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
