you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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