Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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