He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
