So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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