So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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