just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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