I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
