Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
