Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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