Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
