have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
