like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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