New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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