Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
