just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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