I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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