I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
