clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
