Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
