Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How does it feel to date your dad?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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