this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You're like the curious george of whores
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
