he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
