How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
