I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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