we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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