Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
