Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
