and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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