PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
