I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
