his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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