She said her name was "party"
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
