"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
where are my eyebrows?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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