Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
