I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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