All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
