oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
