I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
