Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
