It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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