He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I supernannyed him into submission
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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