Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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