sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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